I have endless frivolous bad inventions! World, I bring you . . . the Beer Hat Neti Pot. Beer hats are those contraptions that rig up two cans of beer on your head, one on either side of a hat, with plastic tubing so that the beer siphons into your mouth.
You can be too drunk to lift up your own beer and still keep drinking. Grrrreat.
Neti pots are those little teapot looking things that you stick up your nose to irrigate your sinuses with salt water. They’re very effective at helping a stuffed up nose!
So obviously, there is a socially useful medical application for the Beer Hat!
Yes, the Beer Hat Neti Pot will bring joy and healthy nasal passages ! Even if your sinus infection is so bad you can’t bear to bend over the sink to rinse your sinuses in salt solution, you can wear the BHNP in bed or around the house. The tubes come down from bottles of salt water attached to the hat, and go right up your nostrils. An elastic band will help keep the nose tubes securely attached.
Perhaps some intrepid voyagers in the world of terrible inventions would want to irrigate their sinuses with beer!
Using a nose mask or perhaps a snorkel, the backwash from your snotty nose could then be channelled into another tube that goes into a Camelbak backpack.
Or if you live on a boat like I do, you could go on deck and let your nose water flow freely into the harbor.
I have allergies and get a lot of sinus infections so I’ve had a lifetime to think about this important issue!
I will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Someday I’ll blog seriously about books and politics and poetry again, I promise.
Beer hat photo by Dave Nicoll