It’s new notebook day! Always lovely even if you haven’t finished the new notebook (though I have!) to start afresh, to make resolutions, to number the pages and have an aspirational Index page, and best of all to feel the infinite possibilities of the fresh start and the blank book! Uncontaminated by to-do lists and projects undone – anything could happen!
It’s been a while since I’ve posted a bad invention; I’ve had some in the meantime which have already been forgotten and will never be documented – so here is something equally trivial and silly!
Danny was telling me on the drive up to DWeb Camp in some conversational tangent about the word “brunchlords” which apparently one journalist at TechDirt has been trying to make a Thing. And he is the only person to really use that word, and Danny was trying to explain to me the nebulous and complex idea it represented which he had a disconnect with in several ways, but I won’t go into that because I got at least some of the basic idea of what techdirt guy meant by brunchlords, but I barely even CARE because I instantly felt that running down the concept of brunch was homophobic and so it must be reclaimed, ASAP!
** vague handwaving ** (I gather it is highly derogatory! On my casual skim of a few paragraphs of exactly one article, because I can’t be BOTHERED, I got a good definition of it though: “utterly incompetent trust fund failsons” and somehow they RUIN TECH. )
(insert even more vague memory of Danny carefully explaining if, rhetorically you wanted to convey some particular idea, you were doing it wrong if you put that idea, and brunch, together, and also the idea that “brunch” represents impossibly wealthy elitism is ridiculous!)
Now, I obviously don’t love utterly incompetent trust fund failsons, but I don’t see why they get to have all the good things in life.
Rather than simply say, “Stop trying to make Brunchlord a THING, it’s not a thing!” … We need to reclaim brunchlords, including both lording and brunch!
I object! Brunch is wonderful! Hating brunch is like hating kittens, or sunsets, or walks along the beach, or queer flamboyance!
According to ME, a brunchlord is someone who is a joyous organizer of friend groups. A brunchlord has probably been up late, doing something fun! Brunchlords know where the most delicious breakfasty and also lunchy food is, whether it’s in their own kitchen or at a cafe where you stand in line with other hung over goofballs enjoying the (late) morning air and then spend $25 on lemon ricotta french toast with a side of candied bacon, or korean fried chicken on a waffle!
Why would you hate the flamboyant, decadent brunchlords, who can be any of the genders! A brunchlord may have bedhead, and their last night’s eyeliner may be smeared down their face, but they always look amazing! They want to take you out, and take care of you, maybe in a sunny parklet, and connect NIGHT with DAY!
In tech, the brunchlord is anti-utilitarian. They know how to embellish things, know how to add a little extra joy into an experience or into a piece of software, and will always make space to hang out and gossip. They aren’t just like, work work work, ship ship ship, all the fucking time! No!
In tech journalism, a brunchlord will do that interview with you…. AT BRUNCH. They will even buy you brunch. That’s how it works! If you aren’t buying someone brunch, how are you even tech journalisting? (Sad oatmeal, solo, over zoom…)
Well, anyway.
Reclaim brunchlords! Enjoy life a little!! Embrace brunch, and lords, at least metaphorically in an egalitarian and anarchist way! Go forth!
