Bad Inventions: Dumpling Compass!

This is hardly a bad invention. It is sheer genius, because dumplings are fucking delicious. And because I don’t have time to create it, I give it to you. The Dumpling Compass!

Dumpling Compass is a phone app that points you towards the nearest dumpling source.

Consider the miracle of the dumpling. The basic idea is some sort of grain delicately prepared and cooked, often surrounding a tasty filling. There are so many nuances to this amazing food. Behold the Wikipedia entry for the Dumpling, and swoon in awe!


Using Dumpling Compass, you can filter by the doughy substrate (corn, rice, wheat), the method of cooking (boiled, steamed, fried, served in soup), the type of filling, and the national or ethnic background of the dumpling you most desire to find at any particular moment. Your compass will point you to it.

Someone go ahead and build this. You will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Think how useful. Not like the Sockerchief or the Catula.

p.s. Tamales count!

2 thoughts on “Bad Inventions: Dumpling Compass!

  1. i hate this. you know why i hate this? because if i had a dumpling compass it would remind me all the time that the nearest dumplings are over 20 minutes away, and that’s just dumplings i have to bring home to cook.

    it’s twice that to any dumpling of any kind that will come hot on a plate.

    i hate this.

    here’s an app that will tell you how much you want a thing you can’t have.

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