Conversational power

Up till now the voice versions of “AI” have given me the same irritated feeling I get while listening to an automated phone menu. I feel frustrated or impatient listening to the voices of things like Alexa or Siri. I don’t trust them on some fundamental level.

The other night I watched a video clip with Danny, where someone asked ChatGPT to chat wiht it in a Cockney accent. I had watched it earlier and thought, Huh that’s convincing, it sounds very much like Danny’s family. When we watched it together I saw his face go through a very complicated sequence of emotions. It was just wild.

Then the next day I tried asking it for a chat in a Rhode Island accent that was from someone Italian-American. It answered, “Sure,”and with that one word I felt my face do what Danny’s did the day before. I felt surprise, shock, fascination, fear, vulnerability. In the short paragraph it then generated, which was a normal thing for someone to say from where I was born and where the core of my family was from. I got a sort of homily, an offer of coffee milk*, and was told, “Mangia!”. That sounds so stereotypical but the personality and conversational subject felt as correct as the accent (if maybe a little bit of a stereotype). As the hair on the back of my neck stood up I had a strong memory of my grandmother (who I was estranged from for much of my life) singing “A You’re Adorable” and tenderly reading to me while I was in her lap.

The evoker of the Cockney accent, the video maker, appeared in their short chat to bond with the ChatGPT generated personality, at the end saying goodbye with a warm “love to the family”.

It is interesting we both experienced such powerful emotions. I think that even without our particular contexts of alienation or distance, people’s relationship with “AI-ness” is going to change, because it feels very different to talk with an entity that expresses a personality. It feels grounded, rooted, and has at least the warmth level of making small talk with an affable stranger who you might meet in daily life.

The veneer of culture and personality may be thin right now. It’s likely that when I go back and try this exercise in more depth, ChatGPT will cycle through a fairly short list of stereotypical “Rhode Island Italian” things it can insert into the conversation. But that level was enough for casual chat. It is far from the phone tree voice or robocall that you want to throw across the room. Definitely worth a handshake.

—–

*

“What the hell is coffee milk?” Danny asked me. “Um. I have some in our fridge right now is what.” (I special order it from Rhode Island is what. It’s delicious! “A swallow will tell you!”)

“And (looking at the text of our chat) what does m-a-n-g-i-a” mean?” he asked, Britishly.
Me: [!!!!! (laughing uproariously)] Only a thing I was told every single day a million times!

a plastic bottle of coffee syrup made by Autocrat, with a bird logo

Bop Spotter

I love this project, the Bop Spotter! This is my neighborhood and I love its musical landscape.

Sometimes I add to it myself from a bluetooth speaker on my wheelchair, but more often I’m surreptitiously shazaming the music around me from others’ speakers, from cars, from businesses I’m going by on the sidewalk.

This is a cool use of a old/low end phone – hooking it up to a little solar panel on a utility pole. The web page shows the community’s culture to the community. It’s community data collection that’s positive, approachable, and fun. We are also invited to listen along on Apple Music or Spotify!

You could expand this project out in different ways, like log all the music, make it searchable, count the times we hear particular songs or artists, make it possible to, in the future, reconstruct the public musical soundscape of this corner!

It’s beautiful just as it is of course, but I get kind of excited about the archival aspect of communicating with the future!

Oct 8: Zine-making workshop with the SF Disability Cultural Center

I’ll be giving a free workshop on how to make a tiny zine, coming up in a week or so, hosted via Zoom with the San Francisco Disability Cultural Center. It’s happening Tuesday, October 8, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM Pacific time. Please register to get the link and more information!

Mini-zines are easy and fun to make – something about their tiny form is very freeing! Liz Henry, poet, literary translator, small press publisher, hacker, and maker of innumerable zines, will facilitate this hands-on workshop. We’ll look at a few zines for inspiration and construct our tiny zines together. We’ll hang out and chat while we all start – and maybe finish – our own! Zine-making kits are available for folks in the Bay Area.

If you are in the Bay Area, you can also check out some other zine making communities and events!
The DIY Museum is doing neat work and hosts a ton of events!
– SF Public Library’s monthly Zinething: https://sfpl.org/events/2023/10/17/activity-zinething
Tiny Zine Library‘s Zine Club – 2nd Sunday of the month at Szygzy Coop in the Haight
– periodic events at Double Union makerspace in the Mission

I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones I know about!

two zines on a colorful tablecloth

People told me slow my roll

The song stuck in my head when I woke up this morning was Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi. A brilliant song (and album! listen to it all at once in order) and I also love the dreamlike music video where he keeps getting up off a couch and falling through windows and doors. (There is a different “official” music video that is oddly boring and standard.)

People told me slow my roll
I’m screamin’ out, Fuck that!
Imma do just what I want
looking ahead no turning back!

– Brought to you by the couch where I have my feet up and my knee in a stabilizing wrap

I flew to DC for a summit at Gallaudet on disability, tech, and labor rights! Went to the Museum of African American History and Culture, and the Natural History Museum! It was a lovely trip & I met so many great people- and will write that experience up soon.

Back home again, I was not feeling up to even travelling across the bay, but did my talk for Common Tools via Zoom. Another great gathering where I met interesting people and learned some things.

Last night went to Writers with Drinks, the Banned Books edition, which was also great!

I *will* have to slow my roll any moment now but not yet, lord….

Whill battery hack night at General Lithium

This week we held a little powerchair hack night with GOAT, Justin from General Lithium, CriptasticHacker and associates from Spokeland, Morgan from CIL, and more friends, to explore the battery technology of Whill Fi and Ci powerchairs. A Ci battery teardown is in progress along with an investigation into the Fi and its charger.

There was also knitting, and an adorable small support dog on a fluffy cushion. I had a cool moment realizing how many of us knew, or had worked with or learned from, John Benson (aka, Cripple A). I was thinking John, a fabulous human being, should get an award, and Morgan said, what he would really like is a parade. My mind took off with this great idea! What if we had a fabulous parade in his honor, with musical instruments and punk marching bands and a zillion wheelchair users zooming around?! We will also hopefully see him and some other repair and DIY wizards at our upcoming events!

a probably AI generated image of a futuristic looking glowing powerchair on a glowing disco platform

We didn’t do any formal talks or introductions, but CriptasticHacker kicked off by talking about one of his finished projects, the WBSW, Wheelchair Battery Spot Welder!

We have learned some things from cracking apart the Ci battery.
– It has hidden screws under the bottom corner pieces
– You still have to pry it open with a screwdriver and mallet
– The battery is encased in several layers of totally sealed plastic for waterproofing
– And under that it is podded, 5/6ths encased in rubbery gel stuff so you can’t really take it apart and hack it well.
– It has 1/4 kWh

For the Ci, our best option to soup it up (as it has fallen out of warranty and parts don’t seem to be readily available!) may be adding a new battery or batteries, which we could do for about $400 per kWh. We could easily fit 2 of those under my seat in the undercarriage basket. Then those could hook up to a new replacement (V)ESC (Electronic Speed Controller) which we then connect to the motor (managing the voltage etc. so it will be compatible).

For the Fi, we were able to access it a bitbetter and Zach, Henner, mjg, and others had a look with digital microscope, logic analyzer, etc. To figure out what is going on with the power management . Zach will describe all that on his hackaday.io page!

three people gathered around an electronics workbench

It was interesting to see the different approaches in play at the various workbenches. The laborious and intensive work needed for detailed understanding and reverse engineering is in some ways a philosophical stance, of learning, reuse, and conservation, but in other ways, a factor influenced by resource constraints. In other words, necessity is the mother of the meticulous teardown! The people with capital, on the other hand, had less patience with this approach and were ready to throw resources at a problem, and use new (or repurposed) stuff to do complete workarounds, or simply throw it all out and invent something new that would be more rapid to get working, even if unlikely to be elegant or refined in the first prototype.

There was a long discussion on how to make a kit to convert manual chairs to power with Justin and Morgan. To that I added some wild eyed ideas but also a pointer to these interesting, cheap, DIY open source wheelchair designs and to Whirlwind Wheelchair. We see people every day in the Bay Area who are struggling with clunky or broken chairs. It is a good topic for future exploration – what other conversion kits are out there? What were the problems and pitfalls? How feasible is it to to come up with a maintainable, cheap, design for such a thing?

I learned during the event that ESC (pronounce the letters in it) is an electronic speed controller (the thing I normally just call “motor controller” with a vague handwave.) VESC, frequently mentioned by our hardware hackers, is a particular technology – or we could call it a movement – that I think looks amazing – for “flexible, efficient, and reliable power systems for your platform”.

Another cool nexus of ideas that came up: Whill chairs come with Bluetooth and a phone app. You can control the chair from the app, configuring it with one of three pre-set acceleration curves. Could we write a new app to communicate with the chair and program it in different ways?

You can also steer the chair from a phone or tablet screen via Bluetooth. I have never actually used this feature. But we can see that airports are starting to explore using Whill chairs on auto-pilot, to take passengers to their gates. Using programmed routes but also LIDAR, like robot cars! That put a gleam in several people’s eyes. Actually, it put a whole range of different and hilarious facial expressions on everyone’s faces!

And as one more note for future investigation: The chairs also appear to log and send diagnostic information to the manufacturer. I’d certainly like to see that traffic! I wonder if it is encrypted and what the heck it is sending!

I’m really looking forward to Grassroots Open Assistive Tech hosting more electronics and hardware tinkering nights, as well as other DIY gatherings!

Overheard:
(just for fun – it was a lively event!)

“I’m so impressed with the fact that you bypassed the VMS…. Expert move”

“….. and then it would explode!”

“That motorcycle [points to motorcycle in a giant pile of e-bikes] has a battery bigger and more powerful than a tesla powerwall. and it goes 160 miles an hour! [gleeful laughter]”

“You can control it via bluetooth? Woah!! That’s my kink!”

“There are no standards for bike wheels, so there are 4 different kinds of 26 3/4 wheels and none of them work with the others!”

(Justin): “I’m gonna take your 1/4 kWh battery and give you THREE kWh. We can just strap the batteries under your seat.”
(me:) “Oh, great! I’ve always wanted to be launched into fucking SPACE with my ass on fire!”

“Is this illegal?” “No surely not!” “Well, maybe? But we’re just taking things apart, and looking at how it works! How can that be illegal?”

(FYI: This can be a complex question! You may want to read this Coder’s Rights Guide from EFF as a starting point. )

More pics from the event:
Wheelchair battery hack night at General Lithium

Thanks to everyone who showed up, chatted, tinkered, and especially thanks to our congenial hosts, General Lithium – they are a battery tech company, but they also have a nonprofit wing that runs this maker/coworking space in the heart of San Francisco. Have a look at their events page and membership information!

Disabled Ecologies

Experimental liveblogging! I’m in Berkeley at Pegasus Books for Sunaura Taylor‘s book event for Disabled Ecologies. Sunaura is here in conversation with Yomi Young from the Shelterwood Collective.

I have been reading the book on Kindle but like it so well that I want a physical copy too!

yomi and sunaura with microphones at front of a book lined room

You can read more about Yomi and her activist work in a zillion places but check out StoryCorps and maybe this article on the DJCC’s work early in the pandemic.

As Sunaura started her talk it only just now hit me that Sun-aura = Sonora like the Sonoran Desert. Oh! How did I miss that.
sunaura with microphone alongside an ASL interpreter

Crowd instantly on board with Yomi’s joke about doing some comedy performance art where they try to pass each other sheaf of papers in crip time (miming dropping papers and scrambling with hands)

yomi in powerchair, with the microphone

Sunaura reads us a short section from the introduction, Age of Disability. “Environmenal destruction is a story of disablement.” (Of people and of the land). “Mass ecological disablement of the human and non-human world.” Her story and her research are deeply rooted in Tucson’s history.

I lived in Tucson briefly – only for a few months, but I loved it and the desert and its life very much! Good memories of my many visits (with membership) to the Desert Museum, geologizing all over with Halka Chronic’s classic Roadside Geology of Arizona, and sneaking through the weird ruins of Biosphere 2!

A main point of the book is that just as disabled people have adapted and created ways of being, living, healing, doing care work, and finding joy, we can, or must, do the same with our relationship with the land.

Yomi mentions being blown away by the balance of philosophical discussion and personal history in the book. She asks Sunaura, Why now? Sunaura replies, she knew she would write it someday and her whole career has been leading up to it. And it has taken her 9 years to write! Her own life is entangled with the narrative of pollution on the southwest side of Tucson near the air force base and Hughes facilities. Her origin story gives her the roots of thinking about disability and nature. Not just her individual problem but that it is a political issue caused by systems of harm, racism, war, etc. and impact a whole community. Injury to nature is harm to all of us humans.

(It is like 1 million degrees in this bookstore as we are a large crowd sitting on a raised platform (there was a lift). My kingdom for a fan, or the space to leave and find a bathroom to remove the long underwear I unwisely wore so I would not be cold on the way home. I also regret the woolly socks. )

Yomi talks about the way the book is constructed. She loves how obsessed with aquifers Sunaura is. The book itself has an aquifer! Which has this nuanced way of organizing information. The pages of the book have , running along the book, an aquifer with extra explanations!

Aw I love this. Yomi has the soul of a poet. And one that admires huge nerdiness. Yay!

Sunaura says this is her favorite question because she loves aquifers so much! She talks about understanding aquifers as relational and as connected. “Magical holders of ancient time.” Unimaginable amounts of water under there, fossilized water.

She notes that because she doesn’t use her hands to read, she doesn’t like footnotes at the end of the book. So the running footnotes felt better to her and metaphorically became parallel in her mind to the underground running stream of information underlying the book.

Yomi says the book is an important one for disabiliyt studies but also for the environmental movement as it is not often Yomi sees environmentalist advocacy or research that includes disability – She feels it is a gift to our community. Sunaura has blown her mind with the new framing of community, disabled ecology.

Sunaura takes that idea and talks about disabled ecologies and communities. When she returned to Tucson as an adult she was following the trails of disability. The pollution and contamination left a trail of people, of wildlife, who were harmed. Wildlife was drinking from the unlined, uncovered pits. The trees died. And the aquifer was permanently altered. Material injuries didn’t just impact humans. Disabled Ecologies is in some ways a mapping project. (You can map not just where the weapons are made, but where they go off.) Disability not just a personal lived experience. She talked with many people and there were so many narratives of disability and illness, in public health, in community activists, in litigation, and these narratives – and mobilizations were often racialized in various ways.

Another short reading – from the chapter The Ground Beneath My Wheels. “What was I to make of this patch of land…” She felt a sense of solidarity with the injured landscape and was drawn to get to know it just as she was drawn to get to know the human communities. “How was I to write myself back into nature?” She then reads a quote that mentions Yomi and her work! (Audience goes oooooh!) Sunaura then reads a bit that mocks the hell out of Edward Abbey and his misogynist, ableist, colonialist writing. (Quotes about possessing a beautiful woman; and a bit where Abbey exhorts everyone to get up out of their motorized wheelchairs. (Audience laughs and boos; I have double flipped off the air for good measure. Cartoonishly bad!)

Knowing an aquifer wasn’t hindered by (in)accessiblity – it needs research, imagination, and understanding to become intimate with the aquifer. “The injured underground became a sort of companion.” “The desert I desired was bursting with community.” “Knowing the desert was not nearly as important as learning to be responsible to it.”

Yomi talks about her own work about land and disabled embodiement. That disability is incompatible with nature – this is a lie – And that natural spaces must be pristine and untouched – that we (disabled people especially but all humans) damage and corrode it. We who have been harmed should be leading the thinking about how to heal together with the land.

Yomi asks Sunaura about Mexican American communities who fought so hard for the environmental damage to be recognized. They continued naming it over and over and confronting environmental racism in a way that was so effective. Outside of movements, we don’t often hear these stories, it’s all Erin Brokovich where someone comes in to save the people. The skill this community had to use every possible tool at their disposal – including impact litigation – is great.

Sunaura – Talks about Yomi’s work with Shelterwood. She started off this project not knowing about the decades of incredibly environmental justice activism in South Tucscon. They should be given credit for the aquifer protection laws that were passed in Arizona. They were really badass but even in Tucson they are not well honored. Decades of contaminated groundwater. the city officials did nothing. No investigation, etc. But the community knew something was wrong. And then in the 1980s as they mobilized the City blamed it on their “lifestyle” or their diet, racist ableist ways to deny responsibility and making the community feel it was their own fault. This is often something that happens with disability!

Then at some point people were like, cleaning up the environment is one thing but right now we all need health care!

Time check! It is nearly 7, yay read the book! Any questions!

Audience m ember asks What happened then! (We all holler, you have to read the book!) Sunaura and Yomi: The story continues. For a while, they got a health program at a clinic. They won a historic groundwater protection fight and passed strong legislation. But the continued fuckery of the system is still harming people. And they are fighting for things they need to live and thrive as disabled people. There is no end.

Yomi: It never ends. And it’s very important that we don’t leave anyone behind. We don’t stamp out disability. It’s part of the human condition. It’s about, how do we live with disablement. Not leaving bodyminds behind, moving together, at the pace of our most marginalist and most disabled. That’s what is really beautiful about it.

Sunaura: it is a hopeful book and the framing of disability is a hopeful one. i know from the beautiful expansive world of disablity community . how can we make that reality one for the non human world as well?

A really lovely interview and talk, and I look forward to actually finishing the book!

So far, it makes me think about what I was trying to say in my short essay here, “Thoughts on AI, comradeship, ethics, interdependence” which I rewrote and made a bit longer for my zine Tabahtea Triple Junction. There, I started in a different place, with some recent discourse on AI and sentience, and tried to recontextualize it to the relationships we build with non human things including land. Sunaura’s book is crystalizing a lot of that thinking for me in a very useful way!

Coincidentally I also just re-read some of the Haraway she mentions and my friend unixjazz had messaged me a few days ago to say he found an OG copy of Sandra Harding‘s The Science Question in Feminism from 1986 while he was on vacation and snagged it for me (another book mentioned in Disabled Ecologies!) So maybe it is no wonder we are thinking about similar issues as we imagine the underground ebbs and flows! I will be going to unixjazz’s Common Tools event later this month to talk about DIY assistive tech as a liberatory idea with ecological connections, too!

Meshtastic foray

I now have two working Meshtastic devices, one for my pocket and one for the roof. They use LoRa (Long range radio) tech to send text messages. You can type via the Meshtastic phone app and Bluetooth connection, or hook up a little external keyboard.

The R1 is my nice portable pocket device. It’s a bit expensive but has a nice enclosure. It gave me some difficulties on and off, and finally Danny helped me re-flash it from Windows (still not sure if the issue was Mac weirdness or what, but try Windows, and erasing it before re-flashing.)

The roof one is in a decently waterproof solar power enclosure and I got it off some random seller on Etsy. I can see many more connections from the roof device, and can bluetooth to it from inside the house.

map of san francisco bay area with a smattering of mesh node stations stretching out to sacramento

I would like to build a 3rd one from various parts and mount it on a hill somewhere to add an extra long range line of sight hop for myself (and the whole neighborhood) but will have to figure out a bit more about how to properly solder it into its solar-powered floodlight enclosure.

The main default channel 0 (LongFast) is public. There is occasional chatter there as people connect and try to test.

Danny and I set up a second channel which I think is “private” to us, though I have no real idea and don’t well understand if/how it is encrypted, since I haven’t looked this up yet. I have also tried direct messaging people around the neighborhood and have established friendly communications with a few.

There is a Bay Area Meshtastic group with an active Discord server: https://bayme.sh/ .

If I can get some friends and family to have cheap solar mesh devices, we can be prepared to communicate in an emergency (like a big earthquake) that takes out power and cell towers.

If you are a hiker or going to somewhere out of cell range with a group, then pocket Meshtastic devices would be a great way to stay in communication (especially with precise location enabled).

There are lots of sensor options so this device likely has good potential use for weather stations and agriculture.

But aside from that, it is just fun in the way that ham radio is fun!

I also think that the way punkgeek set up the project for open hardware and software development, and kind of handed it off, is a great model for creating vibrant ecosystems and communities!

Take the 49 indeed

Tonight on the bus I met a really nice lady named Lulu who was reading a Mayan/ English phrase book and had some stunning eye makeup. We chatted about antifascist things and she was telling me stories about the 60s and I dunno, hanging out with Jefferson Airplane and all that sort of thing and I guess she taught herself some Mayan back then because of trying to work at a fancy bookstore where they didn’t hire her but did give her a free book on Mayan?! The one that the Mexican government published in the 1930s. I can’t remember all the things we talked about and have forgotten interesting details like the name of the specific bookstore, but I did give her a tiny zine while also saying with regret that I have no time to a) actually learn Mayan b) come to a labor organizing thing in North Beach of Mayan and Mam speaking restaurant workers! So maybe we will meet again. I thought of inviting her to the Soiree (since she had a walker, she would fit right in) but she was on her way to the labor thing. I also felt a nice feeling like OK maybe when I am 75 I will be riding the bus still with all my flamboyance and reading interesting books and meeting people. I hope so!

Onward to my event which was the “Wine and Chocolate Soiree” fundraiser (a criperati thing) where I got to have nice conversations with some of my friends who work for that org while drinking champagne and dipping tiny creampuffs and chunks of poundcake into a chocolate fountain in the Green Room above the opera house. THAT IS JUST HOW THEY ROLL. once a year they splash out and have a little gala. Maybe nonprofits get to rent it cheap. So I’m hanging out with Vince and his friend Ben and they told me about an accessible “ninja” course they made at some school in atherton (?) and then we were coming up with the best ideas for a wheelchair driven remotely with a glow in the dark life size Halloween lawn decor skeleton and a sign that says STILL WAITING FOR UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE or whatever, that we would drive around town. Vince said to look up something from brooklyn called Devil Baby where they haad some sort of prank stroller where you go look in and YAAAAAAAH DEVIL BABY pops out. OK!!! Time for another glass of free champagne!

Then this lady comes up to me and goes Oh is that a Pansy Division tshirt! Yes it is. Oh I played with them once! Oh really what was your band. Well do you know who I am, I’m J* L*R*y! I started laughing uproariously! I am sure my face was doing many strange things that I had zero control over.

Anyway, I blurted, Oh, that’s so highlarious!!! Because, I’m like, a micro niche famous hoax identity debunker! Hahahaha!

I was treated to some backstory which I mostly knew anyway because I do have a little side hobby sometimes of being interested in people’s (literary/blog) hoax identities!

So, that happened….

A few creampuffs later I dipped to return to the 49 bus stop where unfortunately a man was laughing to himself insanely with his pants down, jerking it in the middle of Van Ness and MacAlister right across from City Hall. I had some conflicted thought such as, well, he is just a sad and unhinged person who really doesn’t seem to know much about what is up, and he isn’t like, LOOKING at anyone, hes just like staring off into space in the other direction and guffawing? But I don’t really want to ride the BUS with him tho? I decided it would not help to go to a different stop and I’d just be rolling the dice for something weirder and more bad to happen! So he got on the bus near the back, and I got on with the ramp at the front, and I kept an eye peeled and sat on my folding cane in case I needed to physically block anyone, and all was well (he got off at 16th and the rest of the bus was peaceful)

The end!

My lists and systems

As I wrestle with my own tendency to goblin mode I have come up with a few systems that may finally be sticking longer than a month or two. It’s been going for 3 years, in fact!! This system is a combination of day planner, a check list on custom printed post-it notes, Google Calendar(s), and a github project board.

The custom printed post-its are crucial to get me to do the basic human tasks one should do in the morning. Yes it’s a little embarrassing that I need a checklist to tell me to floss and put on deodorant and take my meds. But it’s been incredibly helpful! The checklist is roughly in the order that I actually do things. It has blank space to write extra items. A stack of post-its from Vistaprint is something like 10 bucks, and now that I have refined the list to a consistently useful form, I print more at once.

The day planner is a 12-month spiral bound notebook from Rifle Paper Co, and I’ve been using this type for the last two years. It’s not something I normally care around with me – it lives on my desk or the spot I sit on the couch in the morning. Every day gets a new post-it checklist.

So first thing in the morning I can look at my planner, start a new daily post-it checklist, transfer anything I didn’t do from yesterday to today’s post-it, and start checking and syncing things i need to do written on the planner to the stuff that’s in my google calendar.

That already sounds overly complicated but it works ok!

I have at least 3 google calendars I have to make sure are all synced. The 2 contract work ones are hooked into my main (personal) one. But I have to make sure all that stuff is represented in the weekly planner.

The next step is to look at the giant project board. Anything that I think needs to be done I slam into a new github issue and put it into a column like today, tomorrow, next up, backlog. There is also a column for repeating and in progress. Issues have tags, so I can filter on different contracting jobs or look at only creative or domestic tasks.

This board is hard to keep in check. Every day I need to make sure that I clear “today” to a reasonable amount of tasks, and that “tomorrow” has not filled up with 30 things.

It is SO MUCH better though than having 100 tabs open plus a giant email inbox full of things I need to pay attention to.

I have a time tracker, Tmetric, hooked up to the github project board. So, when I sit down to work on a contract job I hit “start” on it and when I switch tasks I hit stop. In practice, I have to correct this tracker a couple of times a day when I forget to manage it. But it helps me track my hours and also to see interesting facts like, Oh, hmm, I spend like 2 hours a day doing domestic chores.

I am never going to do all the things I think of doing.

So, re-prioritizing every few days or at LEAST every week is incredibly important.

It isn’t perfect but it’s helping me a lot!

It also sounds like a lot of overhead, but it is normally 15 minutes to an hour a day, spread out over the entire day, and it’s INCREDIBILY WORTH IT. Because I am getting more shit done and it is more often (alas not always) the correct shit to not fail/disappoint other people or myself.

Elements of this system:

– Routine stuff checklist
– Physical object planner
– Daily sync of checklist, planner, calendar, and project board
– Time tracker on the github board, mainly for consulting work
– Frequent (at least weekly, ideally, daily) comb through of project board to re-prioritize, check of what’s stuck in “in progress”, etc.
– Daily translation of things in inbox to project board tasks
– Sunday evening calendar/planner sync is critical for starting my work week right

It does strike me this is the sort of system everyone was trying to drum into me during my entire junior high/high school existence, but that I absolutely did not master and that I experienced only as horrible torture. Like, I think I spent much of middle school with a weird little planner book that I was forced to get every teacher to initial at the end of every period, and then my parents had to sign it too every night because I would forget stuff. Did i have my book? no. did i have the worksheet? no. did i have the permission slip or wahtever the fuck? no. did i have my 3 week progress report or 6 week report card signed off on by a parent and returned for a grade? No, i forgot it, and fuck you all very much for the useless “study skills” class and endless school psychologists and unhelpful underachieving gifted child label/damage.

Oh, well!!!!! Apparently in my 50s I have finally learned.

drawing of an owl with paper and pen that says make a list

Bathtubs and books, hippies

I had a relaxing and luxurious bath this morning in our new clawfoot tub, which is blowing our minds after some years of only having a shower in the house. While I was in there I read a good way into a book someone left on our sidewalk bench, Polaroids from the Dead by Douglas Coupland. I liked the title and was curious what Mr. “Gen X” inventor had to say. (For accompaniment, I put on Lou Reed’s album Transformer.) So far, Polaroids strikes me as mostly accurate in mood and content. I moved to the Bay Area in 1990 so it was all very familiar. It did feel a little more like the late 80s but still, accurate.

Part of the mood that I enjoyed was that it conveyed our (us being people roughly of my age in 1991 or so) attitude towards hippies and the 70s, which was that they seemed to have had all the fun and excitement but that there was a little left for us; they would kindly sell us blotter acid, and we could still go see them in concert.

I thought less about California in the 90s while reading this book and more about Austin in the 80s. I lived in or hung out at various co-ops (and yes it was pretty much exactly like the movie Slacker which captured the vibe perfectly (ofc I knew half the people in there) in that it was possible to live on your part time minimum wage job and go to school and fuck around doing art and music or whatever. ) So tempting to keep nesting parentheses, but no.

Here’s me with a guy I briefly “dated” (if you can call it that) from Arrakis Co-op and then a little after I moved into 21st Street Co-op in late 1986 or early 1987. He was a Deadhead and very nice, and had cases and cases of taped Dead concerts carefully labelled & often with very lovely art and handwritten liner notes. (I remember being impressed with this and also with how he would diligently do all his engineering homework, then hit the bong with equal diligence afterward.) But my point is that hippie culture was not at all dead in 1987, or 1990. It was alive and kicking. I was so relieved that I hadn’t missed my chance after all to experience it.

two white young people, me in sleeveless crop top, guy with mullet in a Woodstock tshirt

There was a guy who would come by the Loud Suite (where I lived at first in 21st St) named Motorcycle Michael, who had long white guy dreads done up in a crocheted hat, drove a van, and always wore pretty much the same outfit made of that gorgeous oaxacan or guatemalan woven cloth and a tie died tshirt. He seemed to be the most obvious dealer hanging out there and I don’t think I bought anything from him (I did not need to ; see above photo of me; do you think I got free bong hits or??! It didn’t even occur to me, and besides, I had no money) It did not have any sort of creepy feel (Drug dealer or pusher hanging out with teenage students) but rather, a sort of benevolent uncle and friend vibe. (Trust me I have seen the creepy, gross, skeevy ones and know; or maybe i just am overly impressed with any older guy who was decent enough not to hit on me) Like, his life was bopping around between Mexico and all over Texas maybe, living in his van, hanging out with people who were pretty chill, listening to good music, being super generous with his time and energy, telling funny stories, helping people out, going to Dead concerts. He was part of the culture! I heard a while back through a co-op FB group that he died, and then I just looked him up again and found this interesting memoriam.

Pic below of Loud Suite life:

several young people sitting on dilapidated couches, looking happy

Lest you all think of me as a drug addled fool, I can reassure you I was not much into excess, was a complete lightweight, would cut blotter acid into quarters, etc. etc. (We won’t even talk about where the other drugs like X came from, *cough* *Rice chemistry students*) It was occasional! And social! I swear! Anyway, I still graduated and I appear to have a reasonable amount of brain cells left.

A more wholesome photo, of a bunch of us cooking in the industrial kitchen – I learned to cook here, and was dinner cook (for 100 people) and menu planner for many years. Here, Ethan, Paul Macafee, Karen, Mike LeFebre, and I are drinking Old Milwaukee and cooking dinner. Ok, mostly wholesome. I blame Paul for the cheap gross beer choice.

several young people gathered around a giant bowl of steaming food. they are drinking old milwaukee beers

ANYWAY. Because of prepping to go see The Way to Eden in Star Trek Live tonight we watched the original episode yesterday and laughed our asses off at the space hippie children! (Their drug use is implied only, but their vibe is impeccable!) Star Trek tried hard to come to grips with how the future might see hippies. Were they wrong?!

There were really lovely hippietastic moments I remember, like about 40 people from the co-op all tripping and going to see Koyaanisqatsi together. It was fine! We were a lovely social amoeba moving across the town and into the movie theater! The point was not the drugs so much as it was being gorgeously social and also experiencing and creating music and culture together!

I have forgotten my point. I have more to say about hippies, drugs, and the internet, which we all talked about at DWeb Camp and which I kind of go into in my long poem “Whole Earth Catalog”. But here, I think my point was that I have found it funny and a little sad sometimes to see people now worrying that they missed raves, or grunge, or riot grrrl, or zines, or whatever, and then I absolutely fucking love it when they realize they can JUST DO THOSE THINGS. Nothing is stopping you! You are in history, too! You can make an entire scene happen, and also, whatever else you are doing now, someone is going to look back on with fondness and longing, in some way that you are not even aware of as a Thing! You are in your own Thing right now!!!!!