My evil mastermind futuristic wheelchair golfcart thing

Okay, I totally want this,

so I can zoom around wearing a sort of Servalan dress, like this, in it:

Something more in black, with a ridiculous collar that looks like bat wings and that stands up about 2 feet over my head.

A futuristic space pistol would be nice too!

It’s interesting that it’s being pitched as a Segway-like device rather than as a powerchair. On the other hand, I’ve always thought about the Segway, “What the hell, 200 pounds of machinery and I can’t sit down?”

The people who call it ridiculous miss the point. They’ll get it, though, when I wheel up to them all silent and menacing and then push a button to dump them into my shark tank before my GIANT LASER comes out of the volcanic island and starts bleeping gently before it takes over the world!

It lacks lasers, and a little platform for my nanobot-enhanced telepathic cat.

There is no way I am getting in something called a “Jazzy” especially if it looks like a garage sale office chair fucked a toaster.

I cannot be contained in less than the powerchair of an evil mastermind!

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6 Responses to My evil mastermind futuristic wheelchair golfcart thing

  1. pfctdayelise says:

    That is awesome… the throne of ‘chairs!

  2. ms.cripchick says:

    ouch. i have a jazzy. :P

    i’m curious to see how this will play out… would be really interesting if it gets really popular but a stigma exists around wheelchairs when they’re so alike.

  3. arse poetica says:

    Okay, do you know how long I laughed at this: There is no way I am getting in something called a “Jazzy” especially if it looks like a garage sale office chair fucked a toaster.

    Well, it was a long time. Thx. xoxo (Great post below this one, too. I love your brain.)

  4. TOR Hershman says:

    I guess I’ll make that chair for I am the the world’s greatest masterrrrr, OH, wait….masterMIND!

    Ooooops.

    Stay on groovin’ safari,
    Tor

  5. jesse-the-k says:

    The gets-lower-when-speeding up design is very functional.

    The folks who brought you Jazzy also made my Blast, if you need a more butch name.

    (But I’m already looking for the next chair…)

  6. Liz says:

    Aw Ms. Cripchick I did not mean to insult your ride! It was just to be funny. 8-P

    There’s a lot of sexy futuristic toasters out there, of course…

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