Beer Hat Neti Pot

I have endless frivolous bad inventions! World, I bring you . . . the Beer Hat Neti Pot. Beer hats are those contraptions that rig up two cans of beer on your head, one on either side of a hat, with plastic tubing so that the beer siphons into your mouth.

Beer Hat

You can be too drunk to lift up your own beer and still keep drinking. Grrrreat.

Neti pots are those little teapot looking things that you stick up your nose to irrigate your sinuses with salt water. They’re very effective at helping a stuffed up nose!

So obviously, there is a socially useful medical application for the Beer Hat!

Yes, the Beer Hat Neti Pot will bring joy and healthy nasal passages ! Even if your sinus infection is so bad you can’t bear to bend over the sink to rinse your sinuses in salt solution, you can wear the BHNP in bed or around the house. The tubes come down from bottles of salt water attached to the hat, and go right up your nostrils. An elastic band will help keep the nose tubes securely attached.

Perhaps some intrepid voyagers in the world of terrible inventions would want to irrigate their sinuses with beer!

Using a nose mask or perhaps a snorkel, the backwash from your snotty nose could then be channelled into another tube that goes into a Camelbak backpack.

Or if you live on a boat like I do, you could go on deck and let your nose water flow freely into the harbor.

I have allergies and get a lot of sinus infections so I’ve had a lifetime to think about this important issue!

I will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Someday I’ll blog seriously about books and politics and poetry again, I promise.
Beer hat photo by Dave Nicoll

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9 Responses to Beer Hat Neti Pot

  1. fsparks says:

    May I point you towards our blueprint of the Double-Barrel Continuous Neti Pot which two of us came up with. We hadn’t considered waste water though. Maybe it could be recycled in some way, greywater-style?

  2. Liz Henry says:

    My god! Brilliant! Parallel evolution in action!

    I think a nebulizer nose-mask and a Camel-Bak would work perfectly for the water return system. Then the greywater, or greenwater depending on the level of sinus infection, could be used in a compost heap or water-filtration pond!

  3. fsparks says:

    !!!!
    That would be amazing. could you use it for a salt water aquarium? to refresh tide pools? and I see hob thought of a snot-pack. Snot-Bak has a certain ring to it.

  4. How did you know that I have a sinus infection today?

  5. minnie says:

    when mom and dad were here last we invented the family style afrin bottle. One bottle with like 5 nasal inserts.

  6. Liz Henry says:

    Minnie, omg, that is disgusting, and sheer genius.

  7. Pingback: My latest terrible invention | Composite

  8. Gwyn McVay says:

    Had you been reading Dune right before inventing this?

  9. Liz Henry says:

    Gwyn: The snot must flow!!!

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